


Someday (That Never Came)

by spiritikran



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:37:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritikran/pseuds/spiritikran
Summary: Since this is heavily inspired by free verse poetry, it’s written in a very experimental style. The waterfall motif was drawn from the song ‘Obstacles’ by syd matters, which wrecks me every time I listen to it and just about every part of this, the title included, is something of an homage to the way the song destroys me.





	Someday (That Never Came)

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is heavily inspired by free verse poetry, it’s written in a very experimental style. The waterfall motif was drawn from the song ‘Obstacles’ by syd matters, which wrecks me every time I listen to it and just about every part of this, the title included, is something of an homage to the way the song destroys me.

she fell  
with her knees curled over her stomach and tried not to think  
about how quickly the bullet had hit. Had pierced  
straight through all those layers of skin, had penetrated  
that cage of a chest But instead, to distract herself before death came quickly like an old friend whose name  
was too comfortable on her lips-  
as she was falling, she thought,  
“I am waterfalls.”

the thought tore through her like  
another hole in the chest.

“I am waterfalls,” she thought again, and feeling  
the need  
to clench something, she reached up  
and grabbed clumpfuls of  
her hair. The dye had dried  
long ago but she swore  
she could feel the blue residue coming off on her fingers as if  
she had dyed it 

only yesterday. 

blue.  
she had chosen the color because it reminded her of max  
and the waterfalls they used to visit together  
so long ago but it seemed

like only yesterday.

I am something Max used to watch, Chloe thinks, 

only yesterday. 

When I was still young and brilliant and something worth looking at, like  
beads spilling off the sides of mountains or the unforgiving blue  
spilling off the sides of my mother’s sink.

Before I was quiet and angry and no wonder  
she stopped looking

she wanted  
waterfalls,  
not a warzone.

But I am both, she thought.  
I am waterfalls and I am warzones and she  
couldn’t handle me.

or maybe wars just look too much like waterfalls, all those bodies falling, falling. so much falling that I can’t tell the difference anymore.

I am my own kind of disaster.  
I am an incomplete thought. No one will miss me, she told herself, Not even Max.

and with that the blackness  
began  
to wash over her in waves and she wished 

that water of death would sweep her away, faster,  
that before the pain could get any worse she  
would wash up on the harbor of discarded memories,  
as she remembered a different kind of pain, imagined

——

another life  
where it didn’t hurt so much, to fall

in love with your best friend. To be able  
to look at her, for once, instead of  
keeping your eyes glued to the waterfalls; the rushing  
powerful  
blue, the  
thin, trickling beads of white like strands of hair.

to risk a glance over at her, once, when you were sure she wasn’t looking. To see that blue in Max’s eyes and feel,

suddenly, 

that your hair was not blue enough.  
not if you wanted  
her to notice you.  
that you would have to change, somehow, for her to see you. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to,” Max would say, if there wasn’t that waterfall silence between the two of you.  
She would say “I would love you no matter what, Chloe.” and maybe, just this once, you would believe her but Max  
says nothing, and all you can do is keep staring at the  
blue.

Long after Max’s gentle tug of the hand Chloe still saw  
those waterfalls behind her eyes at night, and stuck in a half dream she still heard the waterfalls murmur their blue murmurs.

they stopped going to the waterfalls after that. As if Max knew, because she always did, that if they went back Chloe would never be able to fall asleep again.

Chloe was still dreaming of the waterfalls, still dreaming of her when  
she fell asleep at last.

——


End file.
